It is 3 am and I must confess, I have a heavy heart this morning. Last night I watched someone I care deeply about be manipulated by someone who could care less. That person is not only physically abusive, but mentally abusive and so on. As someone who has been through it, Domestic violence is the worse thing that could ever..and I repeat ever happen to anyone. What we don’t seem to take into account is the effect it has on our children. Yeah when they are small, they probably won’t remember. But what about as they grow and you continue to stay in the relationship? Then what?
Truth is, they could end up reenacting the same thing they saw as they grew up. Now this is not true for all, but I would hate to see my son’s to grow and be one of them men who abuses women whether it be physically or mentally. From experience, the mental abuse is ten times worse than the physical abuse. With physical abuse, the bruises heel. But with mental abuse, they get in your head and make you believe it’s all your fault, and your not worth while to anyone and that no one would want you. That’s the worst of it, being made to feel like your nothing. That is how they keep that hold on you.
The hardest thing you can do is escape an abusive relationship. They have this hold on you that is just impossible to explain. As I mentioned above, they use there abusive powers to make you feel worthless. After so long, it just drains you and before you know it, your completely numb. The best way I can describe this filling is you feel so empty inside, it’s like your heart forgot how to beat, or even better it’s so crushed it’s like your heart fell out of your chest and just crashed on the floor into a billion pieces. With every day that goes by, you feel like a zombie. Like nothing else matters and your just walking through like a lonely ghost in a non existent life. Life still revolves around you, but you fill like your nothing more than a ghost and no one see’s you. It’s the worst feeling you could have to over come.
I would never wish anyone to be treated like crap just because someone else feels justified to treat you that way. Yes it’s our fault for staying so long, but as I mentioned before, abusers get their powers from practically taking your life source and your worth. Once your beat down enough to being numb, you just stop fighting back. No one could understand this more than someone who has been through it. So yes it is our fault. We have to find better ways of being stronger and refusing someone to take our self worth.
So please, if I have accomplished on thing with this..please ladies, do not allow any man to take your self worth. Know the signs early on in a relationship. And don’t be afraid to ask for help. There is someone out there willing to help, the hardest part is taking that step to get that help. There are a number of outreach places out there. The best source is your local police department and Sheriffs Department. So please..learn the signs and do not allow anyone to take your self worth or dim your light. No one should ever be a victim, but if your ever a victim, become the survivor. Yes it’s the hardest step you will ever have to make, but in the end, it’s the best decision you will ever had made in your life. There is help out there, so please find the strength and escape. Become the hero of your own story.
And before it is even mentioned, yes there are men out there who face the same problems. So for you men out there, I am offering the same advice. No one should ever be a victim of domestic violence. Man or Woman. So be a survivor and your own hero.