Mommy Rant: Teaching Independence

I have been a stay at home mom since 2008. But recently I have tried to get myself back out into the world of the working. My kids are older, and can be more independent and do things for themselves. In my opinion, it is the absolute worst thing in the world to have to depend on someone. Cause lets face it, 9 times out of 10, your going to be let down. But since I want to get back out into the job force, I have found that even with my schooling, it is really hard to get back out there. It is like no one wants to hire someone who has been a stay at home mom for 6 years now. But that is for another rant.

Since I am wanting to go back out in the job force, I have been trying to teach my kids to cook for themselves, and small things like that. Lets face it, I was cooking when I was 9, and my kids are 13, 12 and 9. They all know what they are capable of. For instance, my 9 year old makes really good eggs. And for a 9 year old, he knows how to make them without the eggs sticking to the pan. My 12 year old daughter can make a few extra things, but she gets paranoid when it comes to getting something out of the oven. But my 13 year old son, he can be nice enough to assist his sister, and he can also cook when he wants to..and lets face it, they all know how to use a microwave. But it is like they don’t want to. I can buy them things that they can make for themselves and it is still mommy this and mommy that. I have talked to them and told them it is time for them to start learning to do a few things for themselves, and to start learning to more INDEPENDENT. Cause as I mentioned before, there is nothing worse than having to depend on someone. But the second I mention for them to go ahead and make it themselves, you would think it were the end of the world.

As a mom though, I am not giving up hope on them truly learning to be independent. But the difference between me and my kids is even as a kid, I have always been independent. I hated to depend on others and still hate to. If I were not a mom, I would not be out of work right now. But as a parent we sacrifice everything to try and do what we can to be great parents. I became a stay at home because my daughter was struggling in school, and I was constantly getting phone calls from the school and having to leave work. So I did what any good parent would do, and I became a stay at home mom and help my child become better adjusted with school. I have no regrets, and I would do it again. But my daughter is doing way better in school, and she is in 6th grade, her older brother 8th grade and younger brother 3rd grade. They are all doing pretty good, and my youngest son is really starting to adjust to being at a school without his brother and sister and is starting to do what he needs to. I feel it is time for me to go back out into the world of the living so to speak and have a job. With a job that means more income for our family, as well as me having my own money(total bonus I might add) and with my own money, that is money I can spend and save to where I can get things the kids actually want, and money I can spend on myself at least once or twice a month. Lets face it, as parents we deserve to be selfish sometimes.

But my major hurdle right now is getting my kids to be more independent. So I guess that is one of the my goals on both mine and my kids list for the new year. They just don’t know it. But together, I think this is something we can manage and accomplish together. I just need to be patient and maybe once I find a job, even if it is part time, they will see I am serious and step up to the plate. But we will see, only time will tell.

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